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This monthly advice column addresses contemporary behavior and was inspired by our upcoming book, What to Do When No One Has a Clue, which will be published in May 2010 by Random House.
No wonder we're all clueless. We live in a world where the old rules no longer apply and in the culinary arena alone, we're faced with everything from the baffling--can you take leftovers home from a four-star restaurant?--to the bewildering--do you want your gin and tonic served as a foam in an egg cup?--to the bizarre--the waitress at the Japanese restaurant announces that the special is "Boiled Rabbi."
A response much more helpful than "OMFG!" to these and other culinary conundrums will come from intrepid restaurateurs, savvy chefs, seasoned authors and editors, wise wine experts and passionate foodies. Frankly, if we can help just one diner figure out if cod sperm gelee is an endangered species, we will have done our job.
We watch them on TV, but now that they have invited us into their kitchens, can we consider ourselves family?Have you been baffled, bewildered or utterly humiliated by a recent food/wine/entertainment experience? If so, email us here. We'll get just the right expert to answer it in an upcoming column.
We know what they like to eat, how they cook, how they feel about everything from cleavers to cleavage. We know the causes they espouse, how they handle pressure, how they treat their colleagues, what bugs them, and what inspires them. We've seen their talent, witnessed their tempers, admired their tattoos.
We watch them on TV; we cook from their cookbooks; we follow their blogs; we go to their restaurants. But now that they have invited us into their kitchens, can we consider ourselves family?
SITUATION: You're a former contestant on a major television cooking show. After weeks of watching you do everything from cater a tailgate picnic to deconstruct lasagne, foodie fans feel like they know you. Is it okay for them to tell you what they think of your cooking techniques? Critique your ceviche? Inquire whether the lovey dovey couple on the show were actually sleeping together?
"I love when people come up and tell me they rooted for me on television. Of course, then I think--wait, are you rooting for me in real life? Seriously, since I've been on Top Chef, I've had really positive experiences--people ask about the show. They want to know if Padma is as pretty in person (the answer is yes). And if Tom is mean (no). One small thing--I'm not crazy about being called 'hey, liquid nitrogen guy' or 'the banana scallop guy.' I don't like being associated with one technique or known for one dish. The funniest interaction was when a girl at the airport recognized me and got super excited. She asked to have her picture taken with me, called her mom, then gushed, 'I just loved you on American Idol.'"
-Richard Blais, Creative Director, Flip Burger Boutique, Atlanta and Birmingham; Top Chef contestant, Season Four.
SITUATION: You met the culinary super star once at a book signing. He inscribed his latest book to you. When you call for a reservation for dinner at one of his hot restaurants, can you say you're a friend of his?
From the diner: "No, you can't. No restaurant is worth going to if I have to lie to get into it. On the other hand, when a chef signs his book for me, I can ask him, 'Does this mean that when I call your restaurant for a reservation, I can say I'm a friend of the chef's?'"
-Patricia Volk, bestselling author of Stuffed: Adventures of a Restaurant Family.
From the general manager: "No, because a book signing is an event anyone can go to. But we do get people who say, 'I met Marc' (Chef Marc Meyers) when they make their reservation. I'll ask Marc if there is anything special he wants me to do for them and more often than not he'll say, 'I'm not sure who that is.' But we try to treat everyone well, no matter who they know--or pretend to know!"
-Justin Morel, General Manager, acclaimed New York restaurant Cookshop.
From the well-connected: "Father, I thank you that I have favor with this hostess, and she's going to seat me soon."
-Minister Joel Osteen, as quoted in Barbara Ehrenreich's book Bright-Sided.
SITUATION: Yes, it is. It's Ina Garten eating at the table facing the water at the "in" restaurant in Hampton Bays. How rude would it be to walk by her table...very slowly...so you can see what she has ordered? And can your five tablemates do the same thing? Should you just say to the waiter, "I'll have what she's having?"
"First of all, it's not by accident that these people are on TV. They want to be noticed. They live to be noticed. Otherwise they'd be cooking at home alone. I would say, 'I'm a big fan. Can I take a picture?' And she'll say yes."
-Dorothy Kalins, founding editor, Saveur magazine.
Have you been baffled, bewildered or utterly humiliated by a recent food/wine/entertainment experience? If so, email us here.
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Haha, this column is great. I agree with the book signing answers - you can't seriously think you can meet a renowned chef at a public event like that and parlay it into reservation privileges. I heard a similar exchange recently at a San Francisco restaurant that I won't name - a couple was trying to get a table with no reservation and said they were friends of the chef, only to have the maitre'd bring the chef over. The chef had no idea who they were, but was very polite when they said they had met him at some cooking demonstration event! We watched all this with amusement as we were getting our coats on our way out - we didn't see if they got a table, though!
A marvelous piece! I laughed all the way to the end -- smart, clever, funny! I recall a favorite slightly embarrassing restaurant moment when a dear friend -- now gone, decided last minute that dinner out after a movie was what we should really do even though we had no reservation. Saturday night, a table for five -- even in the suburbs -- or perhaps especially in the suburbs -- was not an easy get. But she was undeterred as she approached the maitre d' explaining how sorry she was that we were 5 minutes late. "The name?" he inquired? She gave it. He searched. She stood her ground. He searched. "How could that be -- I called my self!" He searched. Her voice rose a little. I blushed inwardly backing off a bit -- BUT -- it took a few minutes more -- We got a table and a deliicious meal. I like to think it was the only time she tried that. She was such a good soul. She deserves to be in heaven if only for her performance. Keep this fantastic column going -- It will make us all remember great food moments.
As the co-author of the column ("Stevie" is short of "Stephanie", thanks for your enthusiasm. And let's just say that shyness and reticence seem to have vanished and entitled diners have no reservations! Ditto on the next post - funny stories.
ooh, sorry about the typo of "of" instead of "for"...
I agree with Dorothy Kalins. Maybe the slo-mo cruise past Ina Garten's table is a little weird, but who cares. I bet she'd applaud your curiosity! It's not like gawking at the celebrity herself, but at her culinary choices. I kinda like it when the neighboring table asks me what I ordered or if I like it, it feels folksy. Great bits in here -- love the 'banana scallop guy' complaint.
A different book-signing experience. While visiting my mom in Atlanta, I bought a cookbook by a locally prominent chef at a neighborhood independent bookstore. It was already signed, which was nice. As I was paying for it, the door opened and the clerk exclaimed, "Look who's here! This man's buying your book!" I turned and it was indeed the man whose picture was on the jacket. I was thoroughly startled. We introduced ourselves, he took the book from my hands, the clerk gave him a pen, and he added an inscription to me. We had a pleasant several minutes of conversation.
Two years later, on another visit, I made a reservation for six at his restaurant through normal channels. At the end of a great meal in a busy restaurant, a manager helped our server by taking the payment from me. When she did, I mentioned I was the man from Minnesota who had made the reservation. She said, "Don't leave. Our chef said he wanted to meet you."
A few moments later, he was greeting me, my mom, and our friends. Quite a treat! As we were talking, he looked at me and said, "I know you, don't I?" I briefly recounted the bookstore story. And he did remember! Our conversation became more friendly. I told him much I enjoyed cooking from his book. He thanked each of my guests for coming in. He even declared my mother "a real sweetie." Which she is.
I visit Atlanta at least once a year and always eat at his restaurant, with no expectations of speaking with him. We've met a couple of times, but we're not friends. My only expectation of him is great food. I am loyal because the place is delicious and the celebrity chef made my guests feel like the celebrities that night.
From the co-author of the column: What a nice person you are - and look where good manners and food karma got you!
Great column. Living in a small town in Virginia creates a different experience. At dinner at a beuatiful restaurant on the water, I ordered a bottle of wine-the waitress asked if I wanted a glass with it. What is the answer to that????
what happens when you have house guests who want to drive up ina' driveway just to see if she's home? love this column
I live in the same town as Tyler Florence. Last summer on vacation in Oregon, I picked up some sensational paprika in a tucked-away spice store in a busy "hip" shopping district. The spice was SO smoky and complex that I bought a huge container of it not knowing what I'd ever use it for.
About 4 weeks later I ran into T-man at a local wine and spirits shop and without hesitation asked him for a good recipe that uses this particular smoky paprika. He was MOST gracious, and spent almost 10 minutes with me talking about "pimenton" paprika and the different qualities I could bring out in its flavor profile if I prepared it different ways. I eventually settled on his Barcelona Rice" recipe (Tyler Florence.com).
I was with my teenage daughter in the shop, and though she cringed when Dad walked up to the "celebrity".. she talked about it for DAYS with her friends and kept asking me, "Is he your friend now?" Hahahha.
-Lippy
http://tequilawhisperer.com
From you-know-who: Thanks for such a nice chef story. Good thing you don't live in the same town as Gordon Ramsay.
I love the column and can't wait to read the book!
great idea for a column! can't wait for the book. i was recently in a restaurant and saw the new head chef in the kitchen, when i realized...it was a former top chef contestant! so, two etiquette questions:
1. is it rude to text all your friends at dinner that the new chef is a former, adorable top chef contestant? and 'cause i did. faux pas?
2. my husband and were trying to remember what dish this guy got the boot for, which led to a debate about whether or not it would be rude to ask him. we decided against it (although i really, really, really wanted to. my husband won that one.) fortunately, the food was excellent and we'll be going back!